Christmas Pictures 2009: Out Takes

Daddy has been taking lots of pictures of Tico and me around our Christmas tree. Sometimes he even dresses us up. He says the pictures are for family, friends and of course, my fans. I think they deserve better.

You know I love Daddy but his photographic skills leave much to be desired. He says he took much better photos with his Kodak Instamatic, back when a camera was a camera. I suspect he's making stuff up. Let's take a look at some of his best work.

What was he thinking? For starters, the lighting is horrible, and I wasn't even ready. This is my bad side, too. Daddy likes this side because of the "M" patch on my hip. If you want to see my butt, I prefer photos that show the heart-shaped spot on my other hip.

OK. This one would be cute if we didn't look like deer caught in the headlights and were wearing our gay apparel. Details Daddy...it's all about the details.

In this picture we look like one of those pitiful, homeless chihuahuas in Los Angeles-area shelters. Won't you make our Christmas wish come true and give us a home before they gas us? Please? Seems a tad exploitive if you ask me.

Daddy should keep his day job and hire a professional photographer.  We're entirely too cute for mediocre photography.  Don't you think?

Chi-ao!

Toodles Gets a Job

When I grow up I have to get a job.  Cesar and Victoria told Daddy even little dogs like me and Tico need jobs.  The clock is ticking.  I'm already almost six months old.

Daddy and Anneedabus watch television all the time.  Most the stuff they watch puts me to sleep.  But every now and then something they watch catches my attention.  I LOVE Cesar and Victoria.  What they do with people to make dogs happy is just amazing!  If they say I need a job, who am I to argue?

So about a month ago I started exploring careers.  My resume leaves a lot to be desired.  Sure I can sit, stay and go to the bathroom outside.  But with no work experience, no training, and no papers it's not like I have a lot of options.

Traditional jobs are out.  Seeing eye dog?  Police dog?  Junkyard dog?  Puh-leeze!  Nor do I see myself herding sheep, retrieving dead birds,  flushing rabbits, chasing foxes or running into little holes after anything.  Face it.  I'm just not that kind of girl. 

Celebrity?  Mascot gigs pay well, but are hard to get.  Circus act?  I don't do tricks, period.  Hollywood?  Forget it.  You see more good roles for gays than dogs these days.

What is my gift, and how can I turn it into a career?  A gift is something that others find hard to do that comes easy for you.  And then it hit me.  Nobody could be with Daddy as much as me.  Even when he's surly, stinky from working in the yard, or in the shower there's no place I'd rather be than in his lap or by his side.  It's easy, too.   

It's my job to take care of Daddy. Yeah I know, it doesn't pay very well.  I'll probably never have my own lake like Ennis, or a palace like Socia, 99 & Max. But I know it's what I'm supposed to do.  I am, however, open to becoming famous so go ahead and tell all your friends about me.

Chiao!

Not MY Fault!

Me, Tico and Daddy are in big trouble. Anneedabus says he can't take us anywhere. Shoot! I love to go on car rides! He said we leave him no choice. He's laying down the law and all three of us better behave.

It all started when we went on a car ride to have dinner with Ennis and his daddies. Ennis is RICH! He has his own private dog park with a lake, a river, a waterfall, giant rocks, and gravel paths. Ennis goes outside and comes back in whenever he wants. He eats GIANT food, drinks from a bowl I could bathe in, has more toys than I can count and he doesn't have to share with anyone.

While the daddies were eating dinner, Tico and Ennis started playing. Boys will be boys. To keep from getting trampled, I sat at Daddy's feet and asked him to pick me up. I didn't want any people food or anything. I was tired from exploring Ennis's dog park and just wanted a safe spot for a little nap. Anneedabus fussed at us and made Daddy put me down.

This morning Anneedabus put his hands on his hips, stomped his foot and told Daddy me and Tico were going to have to sleep in our crates at night. It's Tico's fault. He jangled his collar, barked, growled and otherwise carried on so much last night that none of us got any sleep. Well, I did. I only know because Daddy told me all about it.

Daddy had a long talk with me after Anneedabus went to work. He said it wouldn't be fair for me to keep sleeping with him if Tico has to sleep in the crate. Sounds plenty fair to me--I didn't do anything wrong! Then Daddy explained how hard it is for Tico to live with me because I'm so perfect and beautiful. Good point.

We're going to see if Anneedabus will compromise. I'll agree to sleep in my crate Sunday through Thursday if I can sleep with Daddy on Friday and Saturday nights. It's a big sacrifice, I know. That's just how I roll. I hope Anneedabus agrees. I wouldn't think of peeing in his shoes, but I could.

Better than Daddy's Lap

The windows have been open in our house lately. I love the fresh air, but it can get a little chilly around here--especially in the morning. We chihuahuas aren't really fans of chilly weather.

Tico and I each have our own day beds. Most of the time I prefer to nap in the lap of my daddy where it's warm and I know nothing will get me. You can't be too careful when you only weigh three pounds.

Yesterday morning it was really cold. Daddy made fire in the window behind our day beds. I've never been so surprised in my whole life! I've slept in front of that window many many times and had no idea. When the fire is on the day beds get toasty warm. It's even warmer than Daddy's lap.

Now I need to shout out to a few of my friends:
* Hi to Socia--hope the two street dogs your Momma took in haven't mugged you or anything.
* Big hug to Scarlett--hope you're recovering from your surgery.
* Hi Aunt Gingie--you stop worrying about me and Tico and take care of yourself!
* Aunt Joni Daddy said he was going to bring us to the office to see you soon.
* Cody, take care of Ella and Curly.
* Lucas--hope Terri has passed along the puppy kisses me and Tico sent you.
* Secret Admirer. Thank you very much. I'm flattered. But I don't want to have your babies.
* Tico...Happy Birthday Bro!

Playing with Anneedabus

It finally stopped raining. The sun came out yesterday, but the grass was still wet. I HATE walking through wet grass, especially when it's over my head. Daddy made the grass short today with his big noisy toy to make up for dropping me on my head this morning. He found out that unlike cats, we dogs don't always land on our feet. I'm fine, and it was just the excuse I needed to make Daddy hold me all day.

Anneedabus took me and Tico out to play in the big yard because Daddy was surly. He gets surly whenever he has to do any work. We've all learned to clear out when Daddy is surly.

It was fun being outside. We ran and ran and ran. I love Tico but he is not very bright. Annedabus would throw the ball far away and Tico kept bringing it back to him. If he wanted the ball he wouldn't have thrown it away like that. Silly Tico. Every time Anneedabus threw it Tico brought it right back.


A couple of times I tried to tell Tico to leave the ball where Anneedabus threw it, but he wouldn't listen. He's too fast for me to catch him, but I tried. I'm getting faster every day. Tico is already old. He'll be one year old in a few days and then I'll be able to catch him.

Ugh....uh....UGLY!

If I hear another word about bulldogs I think I'll scream. For the last two weeks it's been bulldog this and bulldog that. I really don't see what all the fuss is about.

For starters, if it's not about me, I'm really not interested. Daddy said some bulldog name Uga VII would be a good boyfriend for me. I guess he's forgotten about Ennis. I've loved him since I was a baby.

Today I finally got to see this Uga Daddy has been talking about.



What an ugly brute! He's got short hair, a smashed up wrinkly face, stubby ears, and is overweight. He probably smokes cigars, too. Blech! I can't believe Daddy would ever think I'd be interested in a dog that ugly. You can keep your bulldog.

Daddy said Uga VII is famous. I say he better look out. If all his fans could see how cute I am, he'd be out of a job. Then we'd have the Chihuahua Nation! Arf!

Freedom My Tail!

Today I found a treat that the big cat left for me in a hole under a bush in the yard outside the fence. It was really good! Daddy saw me eating it. He wanted some, too, but before he could get it I grabbed it and took off running.

I ran and ran and ran. The treat fell out of my mouth and broke apart. I picked up the biggest piece and ran some more. Tico was chowing down on the rest when Daddy caught him. Daddy picked him up and yelled at him that he was a bad dog. I just kept running.

Daddy chased me yelling Dropit! That means run faster, so I did. Daddy finally caught me at the front door with my treat. He wanted some so bad that he picked me up and tried to take it out of my mouth! But I swallowed it before he could get any. He was so mad he called me a bad girl.

Daddy took my collar off and got me soaking wet! Then he rubbed this smelly stuff all over me and sprayed me with the hose. While Daddy was rubbing me with a big fluffy towel, Anneedabus did the same thing to Tico.

When he's wet, Tico looks and smells completely different! I didn't recognize him. He looked like some crazy monster that was going to eat me so I ran away. Then I finally recognized him and we chased each other all over the house.

Daddy let me go outside all by myself. I was exploring our private dog park when I smelled cat treat! It was just on the other side of the gate. I tried really hard and finally squeezed through the space between the gate and the fence. Freedom! I got to eat all the treat and didn't have to share it with Tico.

After I ate the treat I went exploring. I know my way around because Daddy takes me walking around the yard with him all the time. But he's always in a hurry and never lets me sniff around as much as I want. It was nice to have time to thoroughly check things out.

I heard Daddy calling me but couldn't tell where he was. He kept hollering my name louder and louder and louder. I could tell he was really scared so I went back to the gate to see if I could get back in. That's when Anneedabus found me. Daddy has been holding me ever since. That man is just crazy about me!