Happy First Birthday...Not!

Yesterday was my birthday. That's right. I'm not a puppy anymore. Now I'm a big girl.

Nobody sang Happy Birthday to me. There was no birthday cake, no birthday gifts, and no birthday cards. You grow up fast around here.

I blame the Kentucky Derby. For weeks Anneedabus and Daddy have been too busy getting ready for the Derby Party to play with me and Tico. I can't remember the last time they took us for a walk. If we were children somebody would be calling child protective services.

Getting ready for the party was bad enough. The party itself was horrible! I don't know when I've ever been so scared.

Our house was full of strangers with big scary hats. They acted as if I should just run over and lick their hand and let them hold me--like we've been friends forever or something. I am just not that kind of girl.

To add insult to injury, someone brought another chihuahua into our house...on MY birthday. The nerve!!! Can you believe it? The minute I saw him my hair stood on end. I gave him a piece of my mind he's not likely to forget.

What happened next made me forget all about the interloper. All the people gathered around the television and sang some song about gay people and weeping ladies. Then everyone started jumping up and down and getting really loud.

For a good two minutes they made more than enough noise to get a "shut-the-hell-up" from Daddy or Anneedabus. But they were yelling at the television with everybody else. It's like they'd all gone crazy or something. I was terrified!

It was the worst first birthday any dog ever had. Next year my birthday will be on the first Saturday in May. Go ahead and mark your calendar. Maybe I'll at least get a card or two.

Chi-ao!