Surviving in the Suburbs

I know. You're worried sick because you haven't heard from me for so long. No doubt you fear the worst. Surely something horrible must have happened to keep me so long away from you, my friends and adoring fans.

Nope. I'm fine. You can still send cards, flowers, or treats because I like getting them. But they won't make me any better. You've seen me. Chihuahua just doesn't get any better than this.

You haven't heard from me because we haven't had any adventures. Nope. Not a single one. No car rides to the doctor, to the office with Daddy, or to the pet store. We haven't even gone to any drive-through windows.

Weather permitting, we do go for walks most days. At least it gets us out of the house. I can't even remember the last time we were attacked by a wild animal. We haven't run into any rude dogs or overly curious cats since I was a puppy.

Nothing ever happens around here. I don't think an adventuress such as myself was meant to live in the burbs. When was the last time you saw Lara Croft, Indiana Jones or James Bond running through your subdivision?

Just as I thought. Never. What's a girl to do? If I was a drama queen, I'd have to stir some stuff up around here. Maybe then I'd have something to tell you!

Chi-ao...